Jokes of the Day :-)

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?" 

 

 

 

A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.

He asks the first nun, ''Sister Karen, have you ever had any contact with a penis?''

The nun giggles and slyly replies, ''Well once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.''

St. Peter says, ''OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate.''

St. Peter asks the next nun the same question, ''Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any contact with a penis?''

The nun is a little reluctant but replies ''Well once I fondled and stroked one.''

St. Peter says ''OK, dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gate.''

All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of nuns, one nun is pushing her way to the front of the line.

When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says ''Sister, Sister what seems to be the rush?!

''The nun replies, ''If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to go before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!"